Congratulations!

Welcome to the ONLY baby name site you’ll EVER need!

Yes, Uncle Dimsworthy, expert in expertly crafted baby names has put together a list of perfect boy names and a list of flawless girl names from which to choose.

Each name has been lovingly created using a very strict set of criteria, as follows:

  • The first name has to be interesting, entertaining, weird, silly, or otherwise unique.
  • The second, or middle name has to be an “every-day” item. This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL!
    • What compromises “every-day” with regard to the aforementioned items? Glad you asked.
    • An “every-day item” is one that may possibly be used in a parallel universe where items aren’t necessarily like they are in our universe. Some may be the same, but most will be different in some way that most likely defies logic, looks or sounds really silly, may be a combination of existing real items, possibly consisting of two words- an adjective and a noun or a “noun as an adjective” and a noun, or otherwise almost but not quite entirely unlike a true “every-day item”.

Allow me to illustrate:

The very first baby name to appear in our lists of baby names was

Bibblebong Grapejuice

Notice how it meets the first criteria as well as the second in the most basic of ways. The second/middle name is, in fact, a bona fide every-day item in our universe.

Starting with similar basic names, the second/middle names have evolved to increasingly become less identifiable as an every-day item in our universe and more obfuscated. For example, a more recent entry is

Snarkenst Poortenpants

Now I have to admit I cheated a bit on this one- poorten is a real Dutch word meaning “ports”, like where you would find boats & ships & dinghies & schooners & skiffs & yachts & jet-skis & runabouts & pontoons & trawlers & submarines & tugboats & you get the idea. So “poortenpants” are pants one would wear when working at a port, walking by a port, flying over a port, writing a re-port, etc.

So now that you have an idea of what to expect, go on over to either Girl Names or Boy Names where you can peruse to your heart’s content until you find that superlatively perfect name for your soon-to-be-born bundle of joy!

Pleasant Perusing!

A.K.A Uncle Dimsworthy